The Clue in Your Child's Misbehavior

parenting Apr 29, 2023

Which of your children is currently in the most difficult stage?

What behavior is most challenging?

Have you thought about the giftedness that might be associated with that behavior?

We know that our greatest strengths can be our greatest weaknesses.

But we often forget that when training our children.

I was talking with a mom last night at a mom's event who talked about her concern about the deceitfulness of one of her children.

Digging deeper, I realized that the deceitful behavior his mom was describing all had to do with him wanting to make his own decisions.


A leader.

I encouraged her to sit down with him and have a talk about seeing that gift of initiative and leadership in him, but also let him know that it was not coming out in a good way in the choices he was making.

Then to let him know she wants to support that gift and let it come out in a positive way by finding whatever ways she could to involve him in the decision making of his schedule, jobs he would prefer to do around the house, etc. to give him more ownership.

I remember in our own home one morning waking up to my 9-year-old youngest daughter sitting in a chair she had pulled up within inches from me. She sat so proudly, grinning ear to ear as she had my favorite satin nightgown on, ready for pj day at school. Since the straps were too long, she took scissors and snipped the back straps, making it into a halter style!

Oh my. 

Well, her innovation and creative were coming out. She wasn't trying to ruin my clothes. She was just trying to solve a problem so she could wear something luxurious for pj day! (Or at least that was her plan!)

I'm pretty sure one of her gifts is an eye for luxury! (ha!...but serious!)

This is one way I honor that "gift" currently as she is a sophomore in high school: I pulled the goblets out of the china hutch and made them easily accessible in the kitchen. She immediately made that her cup of choice for any drinking need during the day.

I also noticed she was always wanting to stop at a coffee shop for smoothies. I make a lot of smoothies in my VitaMixer and couldn't figure out why she felt the need to go buy one. 

The problem was solved when I bought some clear plastic cups with lids and straws and put her smoothies in those. I even occasionally write her name on the outside! She is satisfied! :)


back to your child who is causing the problems right now.

What is most challenging about their behavior?

And what clues might this give you to their gifts? Or possibly their needs?

I pray the Lord will give you some Divine insights, mama.


Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it. Prov. 22:6


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